School Of Secrets
by 1dentity
Summary: Harry Potter and Severus Snape are feeling...different towards each other, what secrets do they have that might, in the end, bring them together? rated M for good reason do not like, do not read! NOT A SLASH! that was changed...
1. The beginning

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything, it all belongs to J.K Rowling...Oh J.K, and how I envy your rights.

This story will, consist of two stories, Harry Potter, and Severus Snape, who are now feeling…different towards each other, what secrets could they have that could possibly, bring them together?

A/N: ok, so there are a few changes to this story. A) It is no longer a slash story, B) Voldemort is dead…but they are restarting the occlumency lessons, because of death eater activity. C) Severus and Harry are going to have sort of a father/son relationship…so yeah! Oh! And I have re written the first two chapters to fit better. This is my first fan fiction, so please! Go easy on me, and it is a non-betaed fan fiction, so all errors are mine!

Warnings in this chapter: nothing really, mention of injuries cause from child abuse.

Child abuse is a very serious matter, I for one, am a victim of this, it should always be brought to anyone's attention immediately if you discover it, this story is mostly for fun, but is also to bring awareness to this very real situation. I just wish that someone had been there for me like Severus will be for Harry...

Legend:

_Dreams/thoughts_

"Speech"

*will be explained at end of chapter

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><p><em>Harry potter looked out his window, he was sitting on the train, lost In his thoughts, he was remembering the last four days.<em>

_He had woken up to the sound of his aunt slamming on his door _

_"Come on! Get up! Get up!" _

_She yelled and slammed her palm on the door to the cupboard under the stairs that was his room; the he heard the lock on his sanctuary click _

_"Now!" _

_she yelled and then headed to the kitchen, Harry sighed, leaned over, and grabbed his glasses, he had a feeling about this day that made him feel like it was going to be torture, then he heard the slam of a door upstairs, the sound of heavy footsteps pounding on the floor, he sighed when he heard his overweight cousin on the stairs, he heard the rhythmic thumping of his feet against the carpeted steps, then a pause, the faint sound of socks rubbing against the carpet, his cousin thumped back up a few steps and jumped _

"_Come on Harry! We're going to the zoo!" _

_he screamed, Harry sighed again, he started to leave his cupboard when Dudley ran back down the stairs, shoved Harry back into the cupboard and ran into the kitchen, Harry sighed, already it had started, and he had finally remembered why it was going to be such a bad day, he had to spend it with his relatives. You see, once Harry cooked breakfast, his uncle gave him chores, then they left, the Dursleys heading somewhere away from him, and if he did not complete them..._

_his shudder ran through his body shaking his shoulders as he returned to the present, just as a familiar red headed boy knocked on the *berth frame, he looked up, his eyes still slightly glazed over from the flashback , the boy looked embarrassed he looked into the berth _

_"Do you mind?" _

_He asked gesturing to the free bench In front of Harry _

_"Everywhere else is full" _

_He explained, Harry shook his head _

"_No, not at all"_

_He gestured to the bench; the red head smiled and sat down_

"_Name's Ron, by the way, Ron Weasley"_

_He said as he sat, Harry turned to look at him, he had been looking out of the window, and turned so he was leaning into the foam seat _

"_Harry, Harry potter" _

_he said and saw a look of shock come over the boy's face, Harry tensed, another fan! He exclaimed in his head, and was once again pulled into his memories..._

_He was laying on the floor, Dudley had gotten the couch, the fat spoiled child, Harry thought to himself, his birthday was in five minutes, he used his finger and drew a cake in the dirt that coated the floor, he sighed as he drew the candles in the dirt, he looked up at Dudley's wrist, his watch beeped and Harry turned to the floor_

_"Make a wish Harry" _

_he whispered and blew on the floor, the fine grained dirt moved to make way for the pressure of the air, just them he heard a loud bang on the door and the house shook, Harry sat up, his heart pounding, he heard his aunt and uncle walk down the rickety stairs, the weight of them making the old wood bow and creak, his eyes drifted to the solid wood door, he backed up and hid behind the short stone wall the was the side of the fireplace, the only source of heat in the whole building, he wedged himself in the corner, and then the door fell, hitting the floor with an ear shattering crack, he used his legs to push his back into the wall, trying to blend with the shadows, he heard foot steps as the person walked into the house, he stopped _

_"Sorry ' bout that!"_

_he said, then Harry heard the shuffling of feet, a slight groan and the crunch of wood being pressed against more wood 'did he just pick up the door? Harry thought to himself, he was still hiding, and as far as he knew, he planned to stay there, just then he heard his uncle _

_"I demand you leave at once, sir!"_

_he said, in what was surprisingly a very calm, steady voice, the newcomer, a man, walked towards the stairs, his feet hit the ground with a muffled thud, when he got to the stairs, he looked the two Dursleys in the face _

"_oh, shut up Dursley, you great prune!" _

_he said and then with one hand he reached out and bent the barrel of the shot gun to the roof, the gun went off with a bang, the roof creaked as a hole was blasted into the planks of wood, then he turned to Dudley _

"_Well, I haven't seen you since you was a baby Harry, but you are a bit more far along then I expected, especially around the middle" _

_He said, and Dudley looked terrified _

"_I-i i'm not, I'm not Harry"_

_He said almost the same color as a newly fallen snow, Harry summoned up all the courage he had left in his body and walked out from his hiding spot _

"_I am" _

_he said, smirking inwardly at the steady tone of his voice, then he saw he man for the first time, he involuntarily gasped slightly as his gaze wandered up the very, very tall man standing in front of him, he looked into his eyes, they were kind and a deep brown they had a gleam of energy and happiness in them, and Harry felt at ease, the giant turned and looked at Harry_

_"Well of course you are!" _

_He said, smiling then he stood up straight _

_"Got something' for ya!"_

_he said as he reached into his back pocket_

"_I might of sat on it at one point but I imagine it'll taste fine all the same" _

_he said and handed a box to Harry _

_"Baked it myself, words and all" _

_he explained as Harry opened it to find a cake with a very misspelled happy birthday crudely written on the top in green icing._

_Just then the train started to pull from the station and Harry was once again pulled into the present,_

and then he gasped and sat upright in bed, his head spinning, Harry was not sure why, but for the past few months he had been having these dreams of first year, it was his last year at Hogwarts, he had been here for a week and both Ron and Hermione we're here already, Harry sighed, his back and shoulders were sore and bruised, he rolled over and stretched, rolling his arms and then he grabbed a shirt, he pulled it on. He sighed as he walked down the stairs, his head was pounding from the dream, he looked at the fire, the ember glowing and shedding a faint glow around the room, he sat down, his head rolling back to rest on the couch, he closed his eyes and tried to sleep, it was only one in the morning, Harry stretched on the couch as sleep slowly washed over his body. Harry woke up as the light was finally trickling through the windows, he stood up, and walked up the stairs, he then flopped on his bed and waited until his bed side alarm went off, that was enchanted to make the sound of his mothers voice waking him, the alarm went off and he walked into the commons room, he had dressed in robes before coming down the first time, just then Ron walked down he stairs behind him

"Good morning"

Harry mumbled while walking out of the dormitories and heading towards the great hall "yeah"

Ron muttered sounding very low, he had potions first, and professor Snape was not a morning person, just then Hermione walked towards them, having left a few minutes before to go to the library, Harry smiled as him and Ron sat down

"Hey 'mione"

Harry said as Hermione sat down

"How are you?"

he said, his eyes scanning the head table as he did so, he caught sight of his potions professor, and headmaster, he smiled slightly, and then took a piece of toast and started to nibble on the corner, his stomach still not very used to food, after a summer with the Dursley's, his back still sore, the cuts on his back were sore and not entirely healed, the scars were still covering his back from all the times before, he turned back and looked at Ron, who's eyes were gazing lovingly at Hermione, Harry knew they liked each other, it was all a matter of time, Hermione looked at him

"the usual, i have potions with Ronald and i am not looking forward to it" she explained and Harry felt his neck hair stand up -moody would be proud at how he could tell when people were watching him- and he turned to see professor Snape looking at him, his black onyx eyes alight with something Harry could not place, Harry turned back around and continued listening to Ron and Hermione –a habit of his- just as Snape stood and started talking.

* * *

><p>Snape was sitting at the head table, he noticed potter sitting at the Gryffindor table and could not help but stare, secretly, Severus had always had a soft spot for Harry, the way the boy's emerald eyes –lily's eyes- were always clouded with fear, and something akin to pain after the summer holiday's, the only thing Severus was dreading was to see how the boy would react to the news he was about to announce, all the other students had arrived within the past few days, the sorting was finished and now it was his job to tell them what he was required.<p>

He stood up, cleared his throat, and replayed what he was to say in his head, with a sigh he started

"Students!" he said, catching their attention "Welcome to you all, the new and the old" he sighed, he sounded like the old man! "I, as all headmasters are supposed to, am to announce all news that may concern the student body, so, first of all, the forbidden forest is restricted to all students, aswell, the astronomy tower is also out of bounds after 5pm every evening" he groaned mentally _Here it comes _"also, due to recent death eater activity, all students are to return home for the holidays, no exceptions" he said, and there was a slight uproar mostly from the slytherin's and a few gryffindor's "SILENCE!" he yelled, and they quieted immediately " everyone is dismissed" he said, then turned and left the great hall, heading to his first class of the day, seventh year potions. He walked into the class and shook his head; all three of them were sitting in his class, Ronald Weasley, Hermione granger and Harry bloody potter! Severus barely suppressed a groan and he walked swiftly to the front of the room, his black robes billowing out behind him, his black onyx eyes not looking at potter, he walked past the golden trio to the front of the room, he turned to face the class

"Today"

he said in a serious tone

"We will be preparing a blood replenishing potion, as you finish you will place them in the rack on my desk"

He said gesturing to a small tray with a vial holder on it

"Begin!"

he said and sat down at his desk to begin correcting first year essays.

An hour and five minutes later, the class was over, all of the students filed out, all except Potter

"Potter! What could you possibly want?"

He asked and smirked looking over at Harry, who was standing there with his hands folded In front of him

"well sir, I-I was wondering what the lesson this evening would be"

The boy said in a shy tone, Severus looked at him

"Occlumency"

He stated then turned and left the room, heading to his office

"Eight sharp!"

He said while he was closing the door to his office. Once inside, Severus finished correcting the essays and after he had taught his the four classes for the day, it was almost five thirty when he walked out of the dungeons to go to dinner, he was not looking forward to the lesson with potter, but he must to keep the boy safe, Severus sighed, he really needed to stop that, and then sat down at the head table, he was watching everyone, and looked over to see the potter boy sipping on some tea, actually, he had not seen the boy eat much at all, in the mornings he nibbled –Nibbled!- at the toast, at lunch he ate a few bites of a sandwitch, and at dinner he normally had a few crackers, Severus shook his head, he would need to talk to the boy about that tonight, he looked down at his plate, his mashed potatoes sneering at him, he sneered back before taking a fork and eating them, he stood after finishing everything – they had shepherd's pie- and left to go and get ready for his lessons.

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><p>*berth: it is the cabin you sit in when you are on a passenger train.<p>

Reviews are like the PB to my J, The dairy to my milk…umm…the meat to my bacon? Anyways!


	2. The lesson

Fan Fiction

Disclaimer: do not own anything, well, except this plot, but besides that it all belongs to j.k... Once again, I envy your rights

Warnings: in this chapter there is self harm and abuse, only Harry, and also of Snape seeing this happening..

a /n: ok, so sorry for not updating, I was in the hospital and then I had all of my finals for school, so it was chaotic, but thanks for the reviews and adding me to your update lists, and I hope this chapter is worth the wait, most of my chapters will be about this long, anyways, hope you review after reading, thanks!

-identity

* * *

><p>Harry was sitting at the table in the great hall. His eyes scanning the head table looking for the headmaster, his eyes fell when dinner started and the potions professor did not show, Harry shook his head in disappointment as he took the food off the table and ate a few bites and then started listening in to the conversations of the rest of the students were having, Ronald and Hermione were talking about their family, Seamus and dean were talking about lineage, and the rest of the table was having conversations ranging from favorite color to if nargles were real or not. Harry shook his head and looked at the head table again, his eyes resting on the empty headmaster seat, He sighed and turned to Hermione when she called<p>

"Harry, are you alright?"

She asked in a gentle tone, reaching across the table to pat his hand, Harry looked up and smiled

"Yeah, fine 'mione, just tired"

He told her, hoping she would not see past his mask, he had finally learned to keep a mask of composure on when he was near any of his friends, Harry stood, leaving the great hall and almost all of his food un-eaten then turned and headed to the astronomy tower, it was where he went when he needed time to think, and also when he needed to release his emotions in the only way he knew how, a few minutes later Harry was sitting in the tower, his eyes closed as he reveled in the sensation of his blood running down his hand and dripping onto the floor, the razor blade was on the floor as well, sitting in a pool of blood, Harry sighed, healed the wound enough that it would scar and cleaned up the mess , he got up and cleaned the blood, then he turned towards the Gryffindor tower and grabbed his homework, he headed to the library and sat in his seat, close to the window, and not visible from the entrance doors, he sat down with a sigh, then pulled out his defense against the dark arts and potions homework, he needed to write an essay on the difference between a werewolf and an animagi, and Snape was making them write an essay on the draught of the living dead potion, boy did he have his work cut out for him today, he thought with a roll of his eyes and he started work, first he looked up the DADA homework he sighed and stood up and walked to the dark arts section in the library, he pulled out the book he needed and sat down again, only to see Hermione sit down on the other side of the table

"Hey 'mione"He said, his eyes scanning the stacks searching for Ronald, just then he saw the bright orange hair pop out from the potion section

"Ron" He eyed the stack of books the boy had in his hands

"What has Snape got you doing!" Harry exclaimed, his eyes wide and he looked at Hermione, expecting and answer she smiled sheepishly and looked at him

"Ron was caught trying to copy off my parchment during the brewing of the vertiaserum potion, and was giving a five page essay to write for tomorrow's class..."

She explained and Harry laughed

"Really, Ron!" Harry smiled and shook his head and then he looked at the book and flipped to the animagus section, and then read over it

"Hermione" Harry said looking up

"An animagus it able to change at will, it that right?" He asked, his eyes alight with an idea, although if Hermione saw, he would explain it as a figment of her imagination, Hermione nodded, and she looked up from her transfiguration homework

"Yes, but only a very powerful witch or wizard is able to become one, and it is not unheard of for there to be multiple animal animagus"She explained eyeing him carefully

"Harry, why do you ask?" She looked at him harder, trying to figure out his reasoning for the question, Harry looked at her and gestured to his home work, and the books spread out on the solid wood table  
>"the new defense professor is giving all eighth years an essay on the difference between the animagus and the werewolf" He shook his head and sighed, remembering Remus who had died in the war<p>

"Waste of time if you ask me" he said and then the table fell silent, Harry kept studying the books, a few hours later he had finished his work he got up, he turned, took out the book on the dark arts and then left the library, he went to his rooms, put away his things, and then headed to the dungeons.

his head spinning, he stopped at the stairs and closed his eyes, he then, with some concentration, forced all the thoughts and memories and feelings he really did not want Severus to see to the back of his mind, he was able to create a small shield, and protected those memories, then he opened his eyes and headed down to the potions masters chambers, he took a claming breath, and he placed a glamour on himself, covering his scars and bruises, and then he knock, once, twice, then stepped back.

"Enter"

His heart leaped at the sound of snape's voice, and he pushed open the door.

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><p>Severus was correcting first and second year essays when he heard the knock on the door, he cast a tempus charm, 7:59, damn, the boy was actually on time, and he sighed and called<p>

"Enter"

He said, his voice echoing in the room, he looked down again, continuing to correct, without looking up, he gestured to the seat in front on his desk, and Harry sat down, he finished correcting the essay, and looked up.

"Well, tonight we will be doing your first lesson of occlumency, now; I want you to close your eyes"

Severus stood and walked around to stand in front of the boy, whose eyes were closed, he could see his eyes twitching, trying to see where he was standing in the room, and Snape sighed, twice in the past five minutes, must be a record, he mentally noted before speaking

"Last time we did this, you were…less then satisfactory in the art, so let's see if you have improved, shall we"

he drew his wand and pointed it at the boy, then taking a calming breath he cast the spell

"_Legilimens__"_

immediately, Snape was pulled into Harry's mind, his thoughts mostly consisted of homework, and visiting with Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger, and then they shifted, he was studying the was the other boy was looking at granger, and Snape felt understanding, understanding to what, Snape wondered, and then he figured it out, Weasley was in love with the girl, then the scene changed, it was a dream, it was Voldemort standing in the graveyard, the Diggory boy's body was laying on the ground, and then it changed again, all of a sudden he was pushed from Harry's mind, he stumbled back, and he looked at potter

"well, potter I see you have been practicing, but only a small amount, let's go again"

Snape stood in front of the boy again, and he cast the spell, once again he was pulled into the memories, and then he hit something, a wall, Snape almost laughed, a weak wall, but still, a wall, so potter was hiding something, Snape began to dismantle the wall, and he was thrown from the boy's mind once again

"Sir, please"

Harry's eyes were wide, he looked, almost...Scared, what could he be hiding to cause him so much of this fright, Snape looked at the boy, he could tell his energy was almost gone, and he shook his head

"Potter, we will continue, until the point I can not access your head in the first place" He stated, he was curious, and well, it would probably end up being a bad idea, but really, when had he ever had an idea that ended in a pleasurable situation, he closed his eyes, took a breath and threw himself back into potter's mind, and continued to dismantle the wall, he hit the first memory, it was black, but there was the senses. Severus could feel the cold of something on his arm, he guessed because that was were it would most likely be situated, and he felt the short pain of something cutting his skin, then he clued in, it was a blade, and it was cutting his arm, then he felt relaxed all of a sudden, and the warmth of blood running down his arm, and just as he felt his eyes opening, he was pushed from potter's mind, and the boy was standing up, his breathing heavy, and his eyes wide, he was pale

"potter, what was that!"

Snape exclaimed, his voice heavy with anger and worry, just one word came from the boy's lips before he turned and ran from the room, his last word lingering in the air like smoke _me_ and Severus sat down and tried to finish correcting, his mind wandering.

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><p>AN: hi, so as you can probably guess, this story is not pre written, and not beta'd, so please, all mistakes are mine, and all comments are welcome!


	3. The tower

Disclaimer, I own nothing, it all belongs to j.k Rowling, I am just borrowing her characters, I will give them back, eventually..

A.N:

ok, so for those of you that are guessing, Severus discovered a memory of  
>Harry's, it was a memory of the feelings that Harry has when he is hurting himself, and that is going to lead to his discovering more, anyways, I would give you a bunch of excuses about why I update so slow, but really it is me being lazy, and not being able to use the computer while my mother is at home, and I am also reading a lot of fan fictions, cause I love them..:)<p>

2ndA/N:

ok, well, for those who are curious, this will not be a slash, I changed that, as my mother was not pleased with me writing it…so now Harry ad Severus will be a father son relationship, sorry if you only read slash, but I can't defy my mother for the sake of my readers… also, I understand my chapters are not long, but I am 15, give me a break!

-POV Harry-

Harry found himself in the astronomy tower a few nights later, since the… unfortunate event with professor Snape, he had been ignoring the man to the best of his ability, and really, it had been quite hard, he had not spoken in potions at all, and tonight he had one of his many dreams..

**flashback**

_Harry was trapped, in a cold room in the Dursleys, his back was bleeding, and was sore, he was under his bed, his eyes red and puffy from crying, and the room smelled like urine and vomit, his entire body was slowly calming down, the convulsing and retching coming to a halt, and then the door opened a crack, the light pouring in, and his uncle shoved a bowl of chicken broth and stale bread into the room, then left…_

_Harry had sat up in bed his heart racing, the shadow of the belt wounds still lingering from the dream, and he could not go to sleep._

_Harry got up, walked over to his trunk, and Grabbed his cloak, pulling it over himself, he removed the glamour charms, saving his energy, and walked, he snuck into the common room, out of the Gryffindor tower, and walked_

**End flashback**

He had walked along corridors and ended up here, he was sitting on the floor, his cloak pulled over his leg keeping them warm, and invisible, he sighed and leaned his head back, closing his eyes, and he let his thoughts run away, his feelings showing, his face showing all of his emotions that he can only release when he is away from people, he rested his head on his knees and started to cry, his guilt for Lupin, Dumbledore, Percy, the pain and torture of his relatives, the abuse…the… Harry gasped for breath, and calmed himself, and then sat there, a few tears still running down his face.

A few minutes later Harry was sitting on the floor, his face with a look of concentration on it, he still needed to go to the occlumency lessons, the things he had in his head, even the more harmless ones, could become deadly weapons in the hands of voldy, he sighed, and stood, his legs getting cramped, he shifted to the bench, just as he heard footsteps on the stairs, he gasped, and pulled his cloak over himself, and then moved to against the wall, he just stood, holding his breath, as the figure came into view, he let it go silently, and then gasped slightly, it was Snape, his hair was ruffled slightly, but he raised his hand and pulled them down the side of his head, smoothing his hair, but that was not what made Harry gasp, it was his face, Snape looking like a part of him had just been sacrificed to the dark lord's torture, his eyes were red, his face was more white than normal, and Harry's eyes widened, the reason for the look finally clicking in, Snape had been crying, he gasped loudly, alerting Snape to his presence, and he closed his eyes as the head master strode over and pulled off the cloak, his voice deep and raspy and he shook his head and said

"Should have known potter, what are…" Harry finally looked into professor Snape's eyes, and the professor stopped talking, his eyes widening

-POV Severus-

Severus had been having a night, he had lay in bed for two hours, not getting any sleep, he had finally gotten to sleep, and then woken in a cold sweat because of a dream, it was of him finding lily, and now he was standing in front of a very depressed looking, and red eyed Potter, he sighed , could it get any worse?

"potter, what is the matter" he asked, knowing the boy would not answer truthfully, but still trying to get him to talk about it, he had to admit, since the boy had run from his rooms, he had been thinking about what the memory could have been, then he sighed, and walked over the bench, sitting down, he gestured to the boy

"come here please" he said, and then waited, the boy moved forward, his eyes guarded,

and Severus noticed he mumbled something, before moving into the moonlight, the boy looked terrified, and it just got worse…he sat at the far edge of the bench, and reached for his cloak, covering his legs, Severus sighed, and then started to talk;

"P-Harry" he started, keeping himself from using the boy's last name " I would like to ask you a few questions" he explained, eyeing the boy and making sure he was not going to run "about, well, what I saw" Snape continued, his own eyes weary , but he saw the boy nod slowly, and Severus took as a sign to continue "who was it" he asked "in the memory?" he already knew the answer, but needed to clarify things the boy looked up, and spoke for the first time since he had arrived in the tower "Me" Severus sighed, it was the same answer he had been given in his rooms, he sighed again, dreading the next question, he pulled himself together 'Jesus Severus, stop acting like you are four' he scolded himself

"What was it?" he asked the boy, Severus realized he should be sending the boy to bed, deducting points from griffindor and yet, he waited patiently for the answer, his urge to know what it had been clouding his common sense, Severus sighed, and made a mental note that he needed to stop doing that, and stood " on second thought, come to my quarters tomorrow, eight pm sharp, and we will talk then" he explained, then with nothing more to add, he led the boy down the corridors, and to the tower " goodnight, Mr. potter, and fifteen points from Gryffindor" he said then turned quickly on his heel and walked down the corridors to his rooms, where he sat on the couch looking into the fire, the large glass of firewhisky he held in his right hand was raised to his mouth every few minutes and the headmaster would take a long sip.


End file.
